Read through my latest blog posts and feel free to comment on them if you like.
She returned to the advert again. It was silly to expect to find what she wanted in an internet advert, but she was aching with guilt about the way she had treated her assistant. Okay, she had been in a bad mood about several other things but that was no excuse for bullying a young woman who had been doing her best. It was no excuse at all. And the remedy was plain. She should have to report to some-one who would give her a severe telling-off, and then order her to bend over for a sound spanking. For her nasty bullying, she should be made to traipse off, in disgrace, to get the clothes brush, pretty hard, across her bottom.
She might even deserve to get the cane, but that frightened her a bit and she would very much like to avoid a caning, at least for the time being. The advert said that she COULD avoid the cane. It also said she could keep her bottom clothed (although she felt that, at some stage, it would probably do her good to be sent to stand in the corner with her knickers down to display her smacked bottom).
She read the advert yet again, and then answered it by email.
She got on well with the Senior Tutor as they assessed one another. It was easy to find his address, although she felt increasingly nervous as she approached it. When she rang the doorbell, she was politely ushered in and the ST seemed the authoritive sort of gentleman who would be friendly and amusing when he did not have to be stern. But, of course, he had to be stern with her because she had been a bully. And he was stern. In a quiet but firm voice he made her go through what had happened and admit how shameful her behaviour had been. Then he made her sit down and write 20 lines: "I'm going to be spanked with the clothes brush for bullying."
When she had finished writing, she had to stand on a little plinth, about six inches high, and recite the lines. The ST then showed her the chair she would have to bend over. Its seat was facing her. She would have to rest her forehead on the seat and grip the low struts on the sides. She would have to keep her legs together and straighten them to thrust up her bottom. It was obvious that her bottom was going to be completely vulnerable and on display, and that she would feel totally chastened and submissive. Not to mention being worried about how much the strokes would hurt. She was glad she had worn her well-fitting, smooth black trousers. ST wanted to see the outline of her bottom in order to smack it; but at least it would look nice.
She was then sent to wait in the hallway, where she could see the chair, and the clothes brush resting on the table, through a glass window. While she was waiting, ST came out to ask her what she was doing there; to which she had to reply that she was waiting to get the clothes brush for bullying.
Eventually, she was called in and told to bend over. Each stroke seemed to explode with stinging and heat. The strokes were given on alternate sides, starting at the top right, with a short pause between them. The first six strokes covered her bottom. There was then a slightly longer pause before the second six strokes were exact repeats of the first six. They thus hurt even more. Wow; but she coped. It served her right.
She was then sent to stand in the corner, with her head bowed and kept against the wall, for 20 minutes; which seemed a very long time indeed. She was allowed to rub the seat of her trousers and, initially, wondered whether she should because it would be an admission that the spanking had hurt her. Then she realised it was ridiculous to try to pretend her punishment had not been effective when they both knew it had. Her bottom was hot and stinging and she felt thoroughly chastened and subdued.
And also absolved and relieved.
As she stood in the corner, she decided that, if she had to be punished again for bullying, ST would be authorised to use the cane on her; and he could tell her to stand in the corner with her knickers down to display her stripes. She didn't want the cane; but she had to admit that she was intrigued by what it would feel like and, also, how ST could do it to really hurt but to make the marks disappear within a day or so (if that was required).
After 20 minutes, she was called out of the corner and dismissed. She said "thank you" and went to the bathroom to recover. After a few minutes, she returned for a chaste hug and a glass of wine with ST; who was very supportive and friendly.
A week after her punishment, she was about to shout at her assistant when, just in time, she remembered that she mustn't. About five weeks later, however, she did lose her temper with the young woman.
She has reported the matter to the ST by email; and she has just noticed that she has received a reply. She has poured herself a glass of wine before opening it because she expects it will tell her when to report to ST to be disciplined.
On reading "Waiting To Get The Cane", a reader has responded that it would be bad enough having to wait outside for a lecture on her misbehaviour, to be followed by having to pull her knickers down and bend over to get the slipper on her bare bottom.
Well, I don't disagree, of course, but in "Waiting To Get The Cane" I was focussing on a very specific part of a severe punishment, namely the few minutes between the pupil being told she is about to be caned and the moment when she is called into the punishment room for the punishment to be carried out.
As regards the more general situation of waiting to be told off and then punished, my first comment is that I have not used a slipper for over 20 years. I find them too unwieldly and imprecise. I much prefer a wooden clothes brush for giving a spanking. However, more recently, I have also come to favour a home-made belt-strap. This can be made by cutting a leather belt at about 15 inches from the tip of the buckle, and then cutting off a further foot, or so, of leather and sticking it to the back. Use glue, tape and/or string binding. This produces an implement that is reasonably solid but very easy to administer and control. It is very effective through clothing and, even more so, on a bare bottom.
There is no doubt that, sometimes, the pupil gets a beneficial shock effect if her telling-off ends with a curt instruction to, forthwith, bare her bottom and bend over a chair to be spanked. However, in general, it is normally best to give the pupil some time to reflect on what is going to happen to her.
One tactic is to end her reprimand with an order to go and fetch the strap (which will have been left in some suitable place outside the punishment room). That will not be a pleasant journey for her. As a variation, one can give the pupil a two-part order: (1) to fetch the strap; (2) on handing it over, to promptly bare her bottom and bend over to have the strap used on her, without any further instruction. Such a two-part order really brings her situation home to the pupil.
After a pupil has been caned or formally spanked there is much to be said for sending her to stand in the corner; with her head bowed and kept against the walls. She cannot help but feel submissive, and this is a good way for her to adjust to the intense smarting in her bottom. The effect is enhanced if she has to bare her bottom to display her marks.
It is salutary for a pupil to reflect that, not only is her bottom smarting and marked, but that her Tutor also knows that, and, indeed, is the cause. This goes to create a bond of respect and mutual affection between them.
Pupils often say that having to stand outside the punishment room, waiting to be called in for a caning, is almost the worst part of the punishment.
I think that, in most circumstances, making the pupil spend a short period of private reflection before she is called in and told to bend over, is certainly a very important part.
I normally administer the cane over a thin pair of trousers or leggings. (This enables the strokes to be given quite hard, with some follow-through, without causing superficial skin damage.) As she stands outside, the pupil is acutely conscious that the thin layer of clothing which covers her bottom will seem to give her no real protection from the searing sting of a cane stroke. This is especially so when the pupil is bending right down to grip the low struts of a chair, so that the thin material of her trouser-seat is stretched taut across her upthrust and tightly-bent bottom.
As she stands outside, the pupil knows that the next event in her life is the sudden summons inside, the order to bend over which places her in a totally submissive and vulnerable position, and then the explosive line of pain across her bottom that announces her first stroke of the cane (with eleven more to follow, in most cases). And those twelve eruptions of pain will be followed by deep smarting and throbbing that cannot be rubbed away; and feels as if it will be clamped across, and deep inside, the cheeks of her bottom for ever. And, of course, they will leave the distinctive marks across her bottom that will further remind her that she has been caned for her misconduct.
There is no chance of escape. Her fate is inevitable. She is going to be caned; and while she is waiting outside it is virtually impossible for her to think of anything else.
Her best consolation is the thought that she thoroughly deserves it. She DID persistently misbehave, or was disobedient, or whatever. And a further consolation is that someone cares about her enough to take the trouble of disciplining her in a firm but fair and sensitive manner.
The worst thing is to try to think about how much the cane will sting and try to "innoculate" herself against it. It never works. The first stroke of a caning always causes a shocking explosion of pain that hurts far more than the pupil can imagine. Also, scientists have now shown that anticipating a pain makes it seem to hurt even more when it occurs.
So, the answer is that the pupil cannot help but feel anxious, submissive and contrite as she stands outside waiting to get the cane across her bottom. And this is why I feel it is a very useful part of the punishment.
I have noticed some things about my pupils. Women who are most likely to benefit by enrolling in the 'ABC' system are likely to have the following characteristics.
They are likely to be aged between 25 - 40.
Their fathers may have been absent or neglectful when they were young teenagers; meaning they had no proper chance to develop a good relationship with a benign, male, authority figure.
They will have set standards for themselves - covering both practical matters and moral issues.
They are probable achievement-orientated in whatever they do. Others will view them as competent even when they, themselves, fear they are under-achieving.
They will sometimes feel frustrated with themselves for seemingly being unable to overcome bad habits that disadvantage them.
Leading on from this, they will at some stage(s) have suffered from depression (mildly or acutely) and may have considered self-harm.
From time to time, they will get a feeling that they just wish someone would give them a good spanking, to punish them, but they will try to suppress it for fear of people thinking they are strange.
They will sometimes still feel a craving to be told off and spanked because they sense it would be a huge relief to them.
Once they experience the 'ABC' system they will feel instinctively at home in a regime that values them and notices both their achievements and their misdeeds - rewarding, as appropriate, with praise and encouragement or with reprimand, punishment and forgiveness.
I was recently asked how I reconciled liking 'a girl with spirit' with the obedience I require as Senior Tutor. My questioner liked my response and suggested that others would also find it useful. This is what I said:
'I see no incompatibility between spirit and acceptance of authority. In a review meeting, the pupil will totally submit to the authority of ST and accept it with good grace. In this vein, I may require her to write and recite lines, stand on a low plinth to be reprimanded, stand in the corner, wait outside until called in for the cane and, especially, bend right down to grip the low chair struts so that she feels her bottom is as high and tightly bent as she can make it. Although I normally apply the cane through a layer of clothing (to guard against superficial skin damage), I may also require a pupil to bare her bottom to display her cane marks and/or to be spanked with a clothes brush or my new leather belt strap.
(This is proving really good, by the way. I found a fairly sturdy leather belt, about 1.1/2 ins wide, which had a slightly harder core to it. While retaining the buckle, I cut the belt at 15.1/2 ins of length (including 2.1/2 ins where a small strip of leather secures the metal buckle). I then cut a length of 13 ins from the remaining belt, which I glued to the back to give a double thickness. It is fantastic! More sting than a slipper but far more control and much less risk of bruising. The strokes can be varied at will from mild, wristy taps to really good, hard smacks. It works very effectively through clothing and is devastating on the bare bottom.)
One might use the analogy that a senior girl in the study of an old-fashioned headmistress, who possessed a cane, would be all meek compliance and obedience.
However, there will also be occasions where a pupil breaks the rules. There are two very strong reasons why this is likely/inevitable under the ABC system.
One, I specialise in identifying and curbing bad habits that are the root causes of current problems. For example, a pupil (like Helen*) tends to improvise instead of following simple rules. Where the habit is deeply engrained, the pupil will tend to follow it without thinking. A spate of punishments can be a very healthy sign that the bad habit is being identified, properly addressed and curbed or eradicated. (Eg P2's nailbiting.)
Two, the pupil may have been neglected and/or abused by her father as a youngster/teenager. Accordingly, she may not have had the chance to learn how to behave with a benign, male authority figure. Eg How much fun/teasing is permitted and in what circumstances? I permit a pupil to experiment on the ST - and breaking the rules, leading to a fairly mild OTK spanking, is part of the learning process. I also teach a pupil that, if she is being/due to be disciplined for something else, even mild impudence to the ST is seen as very disrespectful (a threat to the whole system) and probably a caning offence.
To return to the analogy, a senior girl, even at a strict school, will not always behave as if she were in the headmistress' study. I agree that she is not required to report all her misdeeds, as my pupils are, but both can become excitable and carried away. The gravity of an offence sometimes becomes apparent only after reflection.
I love to see my pupils blossom and flourish under the ABC system; and I expect and require officer-class behaviour (which, of course, does wonders for boosting their self-esteem). I suppose a paradigm disciplinary situation for a pupil would be analagous to next-but-one-year's likely headgirl having to be caned for a most uncharacteristic temporary lapse in judgement and self-control. A stern lecture expressing censure and disappointment; a very humbling and hurting experience as the cane is applied to her bottom; followed by forgiveness and the expectation of great things in the future.
'Justice is mine,' saith the ST. 'Now bend over, girl!'
'Gulp. Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.'
* A fictional character in a story.
Before a new pupil enrols, we discuss (initially by email) her main problem areas. Very often we find that, many years earlier, there was a period when she felt ignored and/or she would disregard other people's rules and make up all her own. The legacy can be some bad habits that have become deeply engrained, but which the pupil passes off as 'just her'. Quite commonly, her friends will never point them out but will live with them to avoid a row. No-one likes nit-picking friends, so we think.
There can be all sorts of manifestations: e.g. chronic lateness for work and/or other appointments; feckless overspending; overdoing the drinks; nail-biting; taking on too many commitments; careless mistakes etc. In each case, we normally find that the pupil has an inbuilt aversion to following some common sense rules which would avoid the problem.
We have a general discussion to identify and agree on the nature of the problem; we then agree and set some sensible rules. Thereafter, all instances where the new rules are broken must be reported as 'B' points. This normally leads to a spate of disciplinary measures which escalate from reprimands via minor punishments to more severe ones, and especially if there is 'persistent misbehaviour' (which shows an attitude problem of complacency or disdain for the rule). However, after a while - maybe a few weeks or a few months - the pupil suddenly realises that the bad habit is under control or perhaps even eradicated completely.
This gives her a huge sense of relief and achievement - which also seems a good antidote to general depression - in that a shadowy weakness, which she had previously felt she was helpless to address, has suddenly been dispelled. Coupled with this, of course, she will also be making regular reports on her 'A' points - the achievements of which she is proud.
It is tremendously satisfying for a tutor to watch a pupil blossom in this way, and see her vibrant, energetic and happy as a result.
Her new-found confidence also helps her take setbacks in her stride. A pupil who has seriously misbehaved will, and should, approach her review meeting with trepidation - and especially if she is expecting to get the cane. But even if the worst comes to the worst, and she emerges from her review meeting with a fiercely smarting bottom and feeling very subdued, she will also feel 'dealt with'. She will feel cherished by her tutor; and she will feel proud that she is expected to meet high standards and disciplined when she lapses; and she will be proud that she accepted her punishment with good grace. She will also feel cleansed and forgiven; and her strong, instinctive knowledge that she fully deserved her punishment, and it has done her good, will instil fresh and renewed confidence for the future.
This is so important that I will re-iterate it. Pupils soon begin to feel good about themselves because of their 'A' points and their success in addressing 'B' points. This boosts their performance and self-esteem. Even when a pupil has been badly misbehaved, she discovers that she can very quickly redeem herself. 'Wow!' she says to herself. 'I got the cane for that. It didn't half hurt and I'm still smarting. But I deserved it and it's helped teach me a lesson. And, actually, I'm very proud of myself for being very brave and getting through my punishment with good grace. After the first stroke, I thought I would never get through the rest; but I stuck to it and I did.'
So even in deepest disgrace, a pupil can quickly redeem herself and further boost her confidence and self-esteem. Which is how it should be.
The 'ABC' system was devised 25 years ago to help improve performance. The idea was to control and eliminate bad habits by identifying, stigmatising and punishing them. However, right from the outset, the pupil also had to list her 'A' points - the achievements that made her proud - alongside her 'B' points - her mistakes and misconduct. It was important that a pupil who had to report her 'B' points did not feel 'a total waste of space'; her weaknesses had to be viewed in context.
It has long since become plain that a pupil who enrols in the 'ABC' system quickly improves her performance and experiences a surge of confidence and self-esteem. Why should this be so?
Well, we all do better when someone takes a benign interest in us: the pupil has to produce a regular 'ABC' report which is reviewed by the Senior Tutor. We do better if we have objectives: the pupil and ST set these together in deciding which 'A' points to achieve and which 'B' points to avoid. We thrive and blossom when we get encouragement and praise: which the pupil duly gets for her 'A' points. We tend to pull our socks up if some-one notices our misdeeds and duly reprimands and/or punishes us for them.
I have noticed something else. Once they (fairly quickly) become used to the 'ABC' regime, pupils seem to thrive on having high standards, supported by strict discipline. I suppose it is the same sort of pride that comes from being a member of an elite unit.
And there is something more. A pupil who is called in to receive the cane (or clothes brush) invariably looks apprehensive, resigned and submissive (and often a bit sheepish because of her offence). However, afterwards, even though her bottom is smarting and she feels subdued and thoroughly punished, there is quickly a glint of pride in her eyes that she has accepted her caning (or formal spanking) bravely and with good grace. Properly and fairly administered, a caning (or spanking) on the bottom is a uniquely cleansing form of punishment; and which can cement a deep bond of trust and loyalty between the pupil and her ST. The punishment should always, of course, be followed by a chaste hug of forgiveness and reconciliation.
Women who crave a spanking often seem to be ones who, at some stage, have also suffered from problems of depression and/or low self-esteem. It may be, of course, that everyone does and that women who are open and honest about their spanking predilection are equally frank about mental health issues. However, I suspect this is not the whole story. I think there may be some connections.
Let me be blunt here (although I will first exclude willing professionals and out-and-out exhibitionists). I cannot think it helps a woman's self-esteem to be parcelled around for a succession of public spankings at a fetish party. Nor do I condone 'punishments' whose only real purpose is to boost a male ego.
I would urge any woman who craves a spanking to harness this urge in order to BOOST her performance and self-esteem; and to have no truck with anyone who seeks to exploit her craving by demeaning or degrading her.
I would accept that many (actual or potential) spankers may not have considered such mental health issues. They should be asked to do so in future.
I am very proud that, over the years, the 'ABC' system has helped to boost the confidence and self-esteem of pupils. I hope others, who are not already doing so, will adopt similar methods. The issue at stake is the welfare of some lovely women.
Every pupil sometimes worries that she might not be able to cope with a spanking, and certainly with a caning. With the Senior Tutor, there is no need to fret about this. The ST is pledged to further the pupil's interests, and he has a duty to punish her when, and to the extent that, she deserves and needs it. But no more than this. The ST will always gauge the severity of a punishment to the pupil's reaction.
For a formal spanking or caning, my principle is that it should cause the pupil stinging pain 'rather more than she would wish upon herself'. If the pupil has earned 12 strokes of the cane, one should substitute 'quite a lot' for 'rather'. However, a punishment must never exceed the pupil's capacity to receive it. If that seems to be happening, the punishment stops. What then normally happens is that the punishment is resumed and completed after the pupil has had a break to recover and recuperate. There is no disgrace if a pupil genuinely needs a short respite; and there is certainly no additional punishment if a pupil 'jumps up' because she can't help it. A pupil will take pride in wanting to accept and complete her punishment with good grace.
A pupil who is due for the cane will normally be told to go and stand outside the punishment room and wait for a while. She will typically be wearing one thin layer of clothing over her bottom (to protect against superficial skin damage from the cane). On being called in, she will be directed to stand, with her legs together, facing a chair with its seat towards her. On the order 'bend over' she will reach right down to grip the low struts on the sides of the chair and rest her forehead on the seat of the chair. With her legs straight at the knees, she will thrust up her hips to make her bottom as high, and tightly bent, as she can make it. This position has been found to be ideal both psychologically - in helping the pupil to feel submissive and fully co-operative - and technically for delivering the strokes.
Quite commonly, after each stroke of the cane, the pupil will be required to count it out loud, and say why she got it; e.g. 'One, Sir, for breaking the thingummy rules.' This can help to make the caning even more effective.
However, it also gives the pupil control over the timing. If she needs a pause to recover herself/get back into position, she simply delays counting the stroke until she is ready to receive another. In addition, her voice will give the ST a good, further indication of how she is coping.
The number of strokes in a caning is pre-determined; but the ST can, and does, adjust the hardness, amount of follow-through, and precise placing of the strokes to achieve the intended effect (as above).
A pupil who is standing outside, waiting to get the cane, should certainly feel apprehensive. The cane is meant to hurt and humble; and it will. However the ST will always ensure that the pupil receives a punishment that is no more than she can cope with; and, afterwards (however much, if at all, she might have yelped and jumped around), the pupil will feel proud that she accepted and took her punishment bravely and with good grace.
To recap. Every pupil, at some stage, worries that she might not be able to cope with a spanking or caning (and will disgrace herself as a wimp). The ST is aware of this; and he never punishes a pupil more than she deserves and needs. The pupil's interests are always paramount. Any punishment is tailored to what the pupil can cope with, for her own benefit. This, of course, requires skill and experience in administering corporal punishment; which the ST has.
If any potential pupil claims she has never had any such worries, my (contingent) apologies; and I look forward to meeting her.
How should a lady go about arranging to get a punishment spanking?
Some people say she should go and meet 'experienced' people at 'spanking parties'. Well, for some women, that suggestion is plainly absurd and out of the question because privacy and confidentiality are absolutely vital.
But is it such a good idea anyway? The proponents say it is a 'safe' way to make contacts because other people are around. But hang on a minute. These other people all have a spanking fetish, and they like attending semi-public parties to advertise themselves. Okay, they could doubtless help to spot a would-be axe-murderer dripping blood from his last victim; but would they have sussed a cool psychopath, and consummate actor, like Dr. Harold Shipman? Of course not.
The downside is that the organisers of these 'spanking parties' need a steady flow of female spankee fodder to keep the show on the road. This creates a huge conflict of interest between the driving needs of the party organisers and the personal needs of any female spankees who suffer from depression and low self-esteem. Fully-fledged exhibitionists, and willingly-paid professionals, can perhaps look after themselves. But I am concerned that some women who attend 'spanking parties' are then sucked into mental health issues where their needs are subordinated to the convenience of party organisers (and also, I fear, some over-large male and misogynist egos).
Any woman seeking discipline should obviously proceed with sensible care and caution; but if she wouldn't want to be a referee (and tell strangers about her own experiences), she cannot expect those genuinely similar to her to be any different.
Surely it all comes down to communicating; meeting; and judging character and compatibility until one feels 'comfortable'.
That's what the Senior Tutor thinks. What do you think?
For serious misconduct, a pupil expects to get her bottom smacked; but which is the better implement to use?
It rather depends. Sometimes the cane may have to be ruled out because of the distinctive marks it can leave for a few days. Conversely, some pupils cherish their stripes as a good reminder.
Some pupils can be disciplined effectively without recourse to the cane. Twelve strokes of the clothes brush, delivered formally, is a sound punishment that can leave the pupil smarting until bedtime and beyond. Whilst it is not essential with some pupils, there can also be an escalated punishment where the strokes are given on the bare bottom. However, with other pupils, it may seem natural to require knickers down for the clothes brush as a matter of routine.
A 12-stroke spanking should normally be 3 strokes on each side, covering most of the pupil's bottom; which are then repeated. A more severe version is to cover 2 areas on each side; and repeat twice.
Used skilfully, a cane is far more precise and it makes a big difference to the pupil where the strokes are placed. This is part of the punishment. The pupil has to present her bottom and she has no control whatever over where the strokes land. Or rather, she can only attempt to influence the placing by yelping and acknowledging how much the last stroke hurt.
A long, thin, whippy cane is also an awesome sight when the pupil is called in and directed to bend over the chair - right down, grasping the low struts and with her forehead on the seat. There is no room for any ambiguity as to what is going to happen to her. The cane is to hurt and humble.
There are some pupils for whom a timely caning will prove more effective than several spankings.
There is much to be said for at least keeping the cane in reserve, even if it never or seldom has to be used. If a pupil feels very nervous about getting it, that is a good thing. (In practice, of course, the Senior Tutor will observe carefully and administer the punishment to ensure that the pupil can cope with it.)
Comments are invited.